This is an ode for Theodore,
One whom I foolishly adore.
It is peculiar, it is insane
How I loved you, and love you in vain
You might think I’m mad, and
You won’t be wrong, my friend
For all well know that only a fool
Would dare love Theodore like I do
Indeed a fool, a fool like no other
Fool who’d love one in arms of another!
Though hard I struggle, I’m succumbing
Infatuation’s my unbecoming.

As you well know, dear Theodore,
Whom I adore yet so abhor,
I do not know quite why I love you
Idiotically, as I still do
Perhaps it’s your smile, or sporadic wit
That has somehow attracted this nitwit
And you know it as well as I do,
I’m truly that quixotic on you.

You should fear not, oh Theodore!
For my love is not true
Elusiveness I sure adore,
But certainly not you!
That’s what I try to tell myself, at least
In order for these feelings to decease
Fear not, another’s Theodore!
Your charm will torment me no more
No longer,
Will you keep me awake at night
No longer;
You’ll no longer be my delight
Gift of God, no longer shall I suffer
Because I’ll forget my distant Theodore.

Let’s flashback for a bit. Upon one of my recent visits to the campus library, my eyes landed on a book quite out of place in its category; literary criticism — perhaps the librarian made a mistake in placement. That was when I decided to pick up this collection of short stories, all linked to the colourful country of India. This book, printed with letters much bigger and also thinner in width than my latest read (Hunchback of Notre-Dame, Victor Hugo), contains nine titles as follows:

1. A Temporary Matter
2. When Mr. Pirzada Came to Dine
3. Interpreter of Maladies
4. A Real Durwan
5. Sexy
6. Mrs. Sen’s
7. This Blessed House
8. The Treatment of Bibi Haldar
9. The Third and Final Continent

I’m not going to go over all of the titles, just a handful of my favourites (or at least, ones that stuck to my mind. However good they are, I still can’t manage to truly ‘enjoy’ ironical stories; I guess I’m still a sucker for happy endings)

A Temporary Matter
Along with Interpreter of Maladies, this is my favourite out of the story collection. The story interests us with detailed descriptions of traditional Indian cuisine, in association to the main female character (Shoba)’s quirky need to prepare for everything. This story all too well documents how a match that used to seem perfect had fallen. (Feel free to skip the next paragraph full of spoilers!)

I realised it a bit late, but Shoba’s habit of storing jars of frozen meals for the future served as a great metaphor for her husband (Shukumar)’s approach to their marital problems. All Shukumar does when Shoba stops preparing these meals was exhaust them without replenishment, and that’s the same thing he does when their marriage starts falling apart.

When Mr. Pirzada Came to Dine
Here, the author takes a different point of view from a child of an Indian immigrant family over at the United States. The typical Eastern need for a ‘family’ or associate of this family is satiated by routinely inviting Mr. Pirzada, a man separated from his family in Bengali, to dinner. Tied to historical events regarding conflicts between Hindus and Muslims, and separation of areas, this story is just as educative as it is touching. One of the things I appreciate is how, though the storyteller has a certain kind of maturity, she still maintains a childish character by the little illogical things she does (that children would do!).

Interpreter of Maladies
I guess the three first stories are really my favourite ones. Like A Temporary Matter, this story is of the heartwrenching sort. However, it differs from the first story of the set, which explores how a long-term relationship slowly cracks, to a fleeting love which… also cracked. Though the terms of love are completely different, I can really feel the same kind of exhausted feelings both have when they end. I’m not quite sure why, but Mr. Kapali, the old tour guide plus doctor’s interpreter in the story, is one of my favourite characters of Lahiri, because I can, in some way, relate to how he tires of a certain someone.

I almost forgot to mention the other ‘love’ (more accurately, non-love) between the two Das. However, I find it much too difficult to relate to Mrs. Das because of a certain way she treats her children. Sorry, Mrs. Das… I guess she is somewhat annoying, but purposely so.

Sexy
Well, I’m not really sure how to explain my feelings about this story. It explores one scenario that happens with two groups of people from different viewpoints. One is from the betrayed, and one is from the one the betrayer goes to. Also, the way that this scenario affects a child (Rohin in the story) is interesting, to the extent that he views the definition of sexy as “loving someone you don’t know” because of his father’s use of this word for his mistress.

Overall, I think that Jhumpa Lahiri’s style is very exquisite, in the same sense as Anthony Quinn’s opinion that the genius in her storytelling lies in “her restrained drollery, her eye for details, and her tone of wise consolation”. One can also feel that there is a certain message she puts in each of her stories; my favourite four happens to be the ones with meanings I get She also explores a very wide range of characters (from a proofreader as Shoba to a stair-sweeper like Boori Ma. Don’t forget the someone messed-in-the-head Bibi Haldar), yet they are all linked by one thing: India. Be they in Calcutta, be they from Dacca, be they immigrants in the United States or have gone through three continents, they all have unbreakable ties to their country of origin.

What I like most about Jhumpa Lahiri is how she inputs little aspects of the Indian culture: through the cuisine – basmati rice, etc., cosmetics and clothes – kohl, fez, and even the norms. One thing especially explored (in Mrs. Sen’s, mainly) is the difference between the traditions back home where one’s ties to those surrounding, as typically in the East, are tight compared to a new world where one can feel a bit lonely (no, not just a bit). Mostly because I feel some of these things, such as the emphasis on solidarity, resembles the ones found in Indonesia, and since I’ve spent some time myself overseas, I can relate to the feelings of some characters in this collection.

One thing I somewhat regret is the lack of happy endings. Not that stories need to have happy endings to be good, but to be presented eight stories full of irony only ended by one story with a mildly happy ending gives the vibe that Jhumpa Lahiri does not yet possess the capability to present a brighter view of the world. Well, I feel that a story does not need to always make a point by presenting a lingering, ironic punch. I would love to see what she’d be able to do with a happy ending.

Lastly, as for whether I recommend this book or not, how can I not say “HELL YES!!!”?

Jhumpa Lahiri is a Winner of the PEN/Hemingway Award, Winner of the NEW YORKER Prize for Best First Book, and Winner of the Pulitzer Prize 2000 for Fiction.

/end useless review

I have to admit

It’s not easy being with you

To commit

while my parents won’t permit

Do you think it’s easy?

to commit

When sometimes I submit

when I have to understand you

I don’t get it

sometimes you’re really cool, mature, and clever

thinking with a critical mind

but you’re also childish, demanding, and stubborn

with all your mews and whine

I don’t get it

I don’t know why I stay

Further ado,

(my parents and)

I wonder too,

Whether the you I know is truly you

I’m scared that the you I know

isn’t the you that you are
.
.
.
.
.
… But who would fake that?

Who would fake your

expressions

cat impressions

great indiscretion

don’t forget

how you lose your possessions

all the time, I lost count!

don’t forget your obsession

of giving detailed recounts

that give me brain regression

I really don’t want to account

how much goo you sneezed out

and how well your crap had sprout

things I don’t want to know about!

and I’d much much much rather go without
.
.
.
(Seriously!)

And no one can fake

your sincereness

and your thoughtfulness

giving me surprises

you know I love surprises!

and the miles you travel

speak much more than words

even the thousands we speak over the phone
.
.
.
.
I hate to admit

It’s not easy being with me

To commit

while my parents won’t permit

I don’t think it’s easy

to commit

But I’m  glad you submit

when I need you to be with me

I don’t get it

most times I’m childish, demanding, and stubborn

not thinking with a critical mind

but you’re still there,

even with my mews and whine

I don’t get it

I don’t know why you stay
.
.
.
but,
thank you
.
.
thank you for staying
.

thank you for loving me
.
.
.
.
.
last year,

this year,
.
.
and following years

Betang.COM is, as the tagline in the header states, “Some kind One of Central Borneo’s online portal”. Actually, it can be interpreted as both, but the tagline itself is that (instead of “Central Borneo’s online portal” plain out) as to not claim itself as the only portal of it’s kind. Okay, enough of my incessant rambling. What is betang.COM all about?

Once again, betang.COM is an online portal containing everything related to the Indonesian province of Central Borneo (Kalimantan Tengah), especially that of the Dayak people residing in it. Due to the lack of information concerning this region available online, of course the need to create this portal presented itself – at least, that’s what I got from the “About Us” page.

As for the name betang.COM itself, it originated from betang, a traditional Dayak-style house. It is made out of wood and elevated 3 – 5 metres from the ground, as a protection against wild beasts, flood, or other dangers out there in the forests of Borneo. Betang are very huge, with length reaching 150 metres and width 30 metres; it’s no wonder that traditionally, over a hundred people can reside in the same betang! The philosophy of togetherness and solidarity is hoped to also be present in the betang.COM portal.

Indeed, betang.COM contains an array of articles with topics ranging from the latest news from Central Borneo, folktales, food, art & culture, social-politics, places of tourist interest, Central Borneo figures and of the people as a whole. Also, of course, other stuff that just don’t fit in those categories. There are plenty of interesting reads, and more are published onto the site regularly.

Where do these articles come from? Of course, there are two regular maintainers of the site: Bintang Sariyatno and Rudy Gunawan. Other than those two, anyone is welcome to contribute their article to betang.COM, and doing that will put your name on the Contributors list in their About Us page. In case you’re wondering why the hell my name is there, I haven’t written any article, but I think I did my share by designing the mascot of the website itself (right?). I think this is what truly makes betang.COM stands to its name; anybody who’s a part of the “family” of Central Borneo (… or not, like myself) is welcome to take part. So there is an endless supply of articles, as long as the residents of Central Borneo are willing to shed some of their time and story to share, of course.

Then we come back to the “mission” of betang.COM, as stated on their page: to collect all information regarding Central Borneo and publish it onto one trusted and structured source, instead of scattered everywhere like how it is now. This information is not only meant to be consumed by those hailing from Central Borneo, but also for outsiders to know more about this lesser-known region.

Enough with the philosophical stuff behind the site, let’s get on with the technicalities. From my point of view, the layout is quite nice. Not too dull, but not too hurtful on the eyes before. The layout is very neat, and I love the little previews of articles on top of the webpage. Very nice. And of course, the mascots are completely adorable. This is coming from a biased source though, haha…

Betang.COM also comes with features that I think are quite helpful. Firstly: there is a low-bandwith or mobile version that can be accessed with a range of mobile phone models (I tried it by taking advantage of my sister’s mobile, haha~), and I think they’re trying to add a multi-language function? Another feature currently present is to subscribe to betang.COM via email. Well, I’m sure that betang.COM is constantly improving itself to be accessed more quickly and comfortably. Another feature coming up (I think) is to be able to access betang.COM straight from Facebook which enables people to comment simply using their Facebook name and photo! Sounds very cool!

Overall, I hope for the best for betang.COM, and that it will continue improving its features. Also, I can’t wait for more interesting articles to come up soon so then I can read it. (I mean, I already know that Borneo is filled with lush forests, but I never knew just how easy it could be to get lost in these forests and possibly end up dying without anyone knowing or even caring about your tragic fate. Not to mention you might come across “the locals”, hahaha.) Good job, betang.COM.

[Good enough?]

You see, I receive many spam messages everyday in my email, and for some reason most of them are for Viagra and other such ‘medications’. Some of them have such witty, and poetic email subjects!

• “Women won’t look in your eyes, they will look at your bulge”

• “Now you can have a real masterpiece inside your pants”

• “Your beast will get deeper in”

• “Your drawbolt will get deeper in”

• “Show big pride at every ride!”

• “Your little friend looks like a dwarf? One click is enough”

• “Every little boy dreams of having a big male joy”

• “Women will be singing odes to the majestic monster in your pants”

• “Give your women kind of zest cause you are so pretty blessed”

• “It will be hard to hide your bulgy male pride”

• “From bigger virility you get bigger utility.”

• “Live a big life of a big man with a big instrument inside your pants”

• “Your large tool will be as big as a champagne bottle”

• “Set your member free by growing it bigger than a tree”

• “This night, your bedroom will be jungles, and you? A wild tiger!”

• “Make your apparatus firmer and longer”

• “Shock her with your new size”

• “Give her horneymoon again”

• “You’ll easily make girls addictive to your rod” (lol, bad grammar)

• “Triple the power, quadruple the pleasure”

These aren’t all; I didn’t insert some of them because they were too vulgar. The ones I’ve put up are actually pretty mild, actually… So, have I wasted a part of my life scanning through my Spam folder just to find witty subjects of  potentially-dangerous emails? Hell yeah.